Know when to say no. “We only say yes to meaningful events that focus on the holiday and bring the whole family together,” says Caroline Solarski, a mom from Alpharetta, Georgia.

Keep gatherings small and intimate. Get together with a few of your closest friends or relatives for the holidays. Choose to throw the big blowout parties at another time of the year, when you and your guests will have fewer commitments competing for your precious time.

Take advantage of timesavers. Order your local deli’s tangy side salad or the bakery’s pumpkin pie to complement your main course. Adeline Rosemire, author of Christmas Shortcuts, once went one step further and hosted a holiday dinner in which everything—the appetizers, smoked turkey, bread and desserts—had been ordered from gourmet food catalogs and required little or no preparation.

Stick with the tried and true. A special gathering is not the time to experiment with a new recipe. “Just do what you know how to do and can do well,” says Caroline, who includes basic mashed potatoes on the menu because it’s a family favorite. She also keeps the table setting simple, adding a seasonal touch with a single Christmas centerpiece and festive napkins. “Focus on the fellowship of the people you’re gathering with, and don’t stress out on the preparations and menu,” she says.

11. Don’t hesitate to ask for help. In fact, guests prefer to take on some small tasks, instead of standing around while you attempt to do everything yourself. Ask an older relative if he’d mind greeting guests at the door. Recruit teens to take coats or offer fruit juice. Kids may direct guests to the buffet table or offer hors d’oeuvres.